I got put on call for four hours Monday morning, so I used some of the time to catch up on my horrifyingly full email inbox. Ha.
In it, I read this quote from James Clear.
“You have to run your own race. Problems begin the moment you start comparing your results to someone who is playing under different conditions.
The 40-year-old entrepreneur with three kids has different constraints than the single 27-year-old.
A painter with 20 years of practice shouldn’t be the benchmark for someone in year two.
Someone caring for aging parents is not in the same position as someone with no obligations outside work.
Play your own game. Emphasize gradual progress and keep the comparison internal. Are you getting a little better today?”
I know this is not a novel concept, but I thought it was a useful reminder, particularly in this age where comparison is so easy. Our phones offer an endlessly rotating view of people who are wealthier, fitter, more stylish, more successful, and more everything than we are!
Chiquita does not care who is fitter than her
I also thought about this in relation to the question I always recommend asking: “What CAN I do?”
But reading this quote made me realize that a change in emphasis could be helpful too: Instead of “What CAN I do?”, try, “What can *I* do?”
Not:
- “What can my friend do?”
- “What can this celebrity do?”
- “What can my young coworker do?”
This way, it’s a “What can I, in particular, manage? What is realistic for ME?” type of question.
And then when we implement the realistic-for-me plan, we can evaluate our progress by asking Clear’s question, “Am I getting a little better today?”
For example…
If you work a job with super long hours, and have other constraints such as being a caregiver, you might struggle to cook and eat and home.
And it could be discouraging to look at people who have extensive gardens and preserve their own homegrown produce.
This is not something you can probably do!
But, maybe you could try to reduce, not eliminate, your takeout habits.
You could:
- buy some quick frozen meals (orange chicken and fried rice from Trader Joe’s for example!)
- make breakfast for dinner (French toast plus scrambled eggs is so fast)
- double a recipe on a weekend and freeze half for future use
At the end of a month, you can ask yourself, “Am I getting a little better?”
Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough
On the internet, I see people doing seriously impressive things with their money; paying off all their debt, buying rental properties, maxing out retirement accounts, retiring early, and so on. This sometimes makes me feel like I’m falling behind, and I bet some of you feel the same way too.
But that’s because we’re watching other people play their games instead of focusing on playing our own game.
Maybe you can’t pay off all your debt in the next six months, but perhaps you could pay off some of it, or you could stop adding to it.
Are you getting a little better? That’s progress.
Maybe you can’t max out your retirement accounts this year (I never have in my whole life!), but perhaps you could select to have 3% of your paycheck sent to your 401(k).
Are you getting a little better? That’s progress.
Maybe I can’t buy a rental house (heck, I don’t even own a primary house!), but I have slowly made my way to a much better financial place than where I was a few years ago.
I got a little better, and that’s progress.
They say comparison is the thief of joy, but maybe that’s only true when it’s external comparison. If we engage in internal comparison by playing our own game and watching for our own progress, that could be joy-inducing instead of joy-stealing.
And maybe the “Oh, I’m not doing enough! I’m falling behind!” thoughts should be a reminder to recalibrate and keep our eyes on our own game.
(Also, those thoughts might be a sign that’s enough social media for the day. Ha.)
